May 15 - And if we get married? I see you often in profile fits of laughter, the mischievous head thrown back as if to deny the character of this childish joviality outraged. Happiness, really, a mixture of innocence and forgetfulness of this. I see your thighs thick and soft as a symbol of motherhood deserved. Your regular beauty as the symbol of life itself. Your faith and your naive errors of English, all I have ceased to be after my thirty years.
May 23 - His way of being alive by paying tribute to life at every moment ... But there will never be anything between us. I am, she flees the deadly dynamic now. Deadly for a couple that does not exist yet. Our last phone conversation lasted a few seconds. ... I do not know what I do ... bye ... I'll remember ... She never called me either. I do not talk more. I'll let time slip. Forgetting his life and keep a bit of nostalgia for a time in my life almost lived, but barely. I almost got a job, I'm more respectable. But how to tell him? I am worth more? I am more of a potential husband before? I 'm Asset monthly from now on?
failed.
June 29 - For weeks I dream to marry you. I do not know why.
But my desire decreases when my love increases. I feel more and more subjected to this negative feeling and sterile, which has no future unless the failure of an unequivocal desire. Love is the defeat of desire, the result of scorn, the voice of a wounded ego, no doubt, but who refuses to see. The more you ignore me the more I feel rising in me a speech that I thought died with my adolescence.
For months I want to marry you. First I waited in vain for your return and now I expect it to tirelessly nothing ever happens between us. This tension is love. A real desire without object, a false desire, a wild desire, undated. A feeling that is embodied in the futile expectation.
Decidedly, this country is unlucky in love myself. Is that it operates its unfair damage. Applications men still outnumber women's supply, and we need to be taken seriously talking about marriage, or be dismissed. In the state of mind that wants sex. Otherwise the performance of a green sincere suitor turns his noble projects ridiculous failure. The lovers are clumsy. Sincerity is as ugly as the truth. The gardens are in bloom and sunny artifice and hypocrisy.
I plan to disappear from your life and declare myself the same time. Final attempt. But no shame and shyness hold me. And if I had to pay the price the hateful taunts from your friends. Or worse than my own family. Text and so easy to publish today. I do not die, but I would not take that risk even before being put back on feet. Humiliation over shoot me now. I prefer a defeat by love despite a scandalous public rejection. My first relationship has taken me all my love, my second and last illusions I can. What do I have there to give? What if I might offer you a necklace?
We had to do more review. But fate is bad things that concerns me. We met again and I thought that you refused to greet me that night. I act in this way and my way past. The following week, you came to see me a hint of guilt too, in the presence of my mother and my sister, courtesy of rigor has taken over the pride. And here we are again greeted us like two old friends. You saw me last Saturday, but the time realizing it, I was too far ... Why this happy misunderstanding Has not completed our poor relationship? Things were worse between us and had done well and I had even managed to convince me you could be hateful and wrong. This finally gave me a reason to leave you without remorse. Remember though, a misunderstanding and we insulted each other on the phone. But as I find you beautiful. I do not know why your gaze exerts on fleeing me a sort of attraction unstoppable. You're awfully pretty, probably because you do not know how.
On 21 June, we have yet seen. What a disaster it was! I've planted once, and you thrice. Except that I did it by mistake, I should salute you and other people through negligence, inadvertence, contempt? I missed. Would we not have sympathy again and regain the joy of our meeting? To top it off, it was necessary that you go without even greet me. I do not know how to act in your presence. Should that every time we met, we greeted each other in a hurry or far as staff courteous? Rapid exchange greetings without ever exceed this cap? What is the nature of our relationship exactly? Why is it necessary to say hello again? After all we are again become almost strangers to each other.
marry or nothing.
You'll leave soon, like a bad memory or a small nightmare.
And I would rate your memory in the drawer of my misjudgments and misunderstandings.
I hate you so much. Do me a favor and disappear again become detestable!
